Dealing With Rejection

It's been a week of ups and downs...closing with a down it appears!

How does one deal with a rejection after interviewing for a job? I am not talking about the usual non response (how rude) or polite expression of "not interested" (thanks for being respectful). This is an established, growing (or so they said) company. The position was a good fit for my experience and qualifications. After the obligatory phone interview, I was invited for an in person interview at their office. It went very well and I was asked to continue the process and interview with the person I would be reporting to. That meeting was positive as well and I was told that a decision would be made before week end. They were moving fast, I had established a rapport, they seemed honest and personable. To my surprise the next phone call informed me of a change in pace in the hiring process, a change in the job description and closed with an invite for a third interview. Apparently, there were a handful of people left in the race. Not bad for today's job market. I considered the changed job outlook and decided that the company still represented a good career choice for me and I was willing to go with their slower outlook and downsized job tasks. They admitted they were flying by the seat of their pants, things were changing constantly and this position could be molded by the candidate...that sounded positive to me. I had a good feeling about the third interview, which was reinforced when I arrived home to find a request for references from the HR department in my inbox. No problem there, as I had lined up a handful of professional and character references. I confirmed coordinates and willingness to act as a reference with my list before emailing it to HR later that day. This was early in the week and again I was told that the decision would be made before week's end. Two days later - early in the day - I received a brief email informing me that the company decided to move forward with another candidate. After my initial surprise, I discovered that none of my references was called upon. What was going on here? It's hard to deal with a rejection when feeling so close to a "Yes". I am a level headed and balanced person, but my initial reaction was quite intense from stomach cramps over nausea todizziness. Wow, haven't had such a strong emotional reaction since my first love dumped me...

It's the day after and I am trying to rationalize. Taking into account that I am very good in reading people I've come to the conclusion that the position was pulled from underneath them. Too bad that they didn't have the courtesy to be upfront and honest about it. Yes, I invested a lot of time in travelling to these interviews and yes, they probably felt embarrassed about the situation. But who are they trying to fool?

My friends and references have been very supportive and expressedsimilar thoughts: "Think about it, would you like to work for somebody that acts like that and worst, be in on it and required to do the same thing?" No! "Their loss, you'd be such a gain for any company that would hire you". With that in mind, I try to keep a positive attitude and am still looking...